MISUNDERSTANDING

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I had a misunderstanding one night with my wife. We were exchanging words,but hers was the loudest,she lamba GBst me,insulted my head and Holy Moses,finished me with her mouth,she was even saying she hate me with a passion,she regreted the day she even fall in love with me. I was moved to beat her that night,but I remember the words of my father,”DO NOT EVER BEAT YOUR WIFE NO MATTER THE PROVOCATION.” There are are lot of punishment you can give her and will hurt her. I wanted to take a walk,but it was night. I absolve the pains of the insults,we slept. The following morning,she came and knelt down,apologised and we move on. After then,I told her if not for my fathers advice I adhered to,I should have beating her mercillesly. She also told me,she was expecting a beating and she had kept “Tabarya”(Pistle) that she will used to hit me in the head had it been I beat her. My people,na the biggest pistle of the house. Na dead be dat oooooo! She will be arrested and my family is gone because one of us doesn’t have patience and devil will be rejoicing.
As a husband and a father, you need to be patient and exhibit a lot of maturity. Do not react to every provocation from your wife. If you react to everything that your wife does, you w
ill almost kill her with beating. I understand that women have sharp mouth. They can insult you and abuse you with their mouth. A woman can push you to the wall. Sometimes you should ignore some of her attitudes and just keep quiet. A woman’s attitude can force a pastor to beat his wife unconsciously. That is why a husband must be mature both in mind and in age. That is also the reason why a woman must consider the age and the maturity of the man she wants to marry. Marriage is not for boys. Not because you have seen one boy with a house and car you just feel,this is my man. It may be rosy now,but when the storms comes,can he bear it? Some men cannot be patient enough,they can’t bear insults and some men grew up seeing how their mothers were maltreatin their father and he had sworn,he will never allow that in his marriage. If you marry such a man,very soon,they will dig your grave. That’s why in courtship,a woman must check out all the traces of anger in her man,is he hot tempered,how did he react to issues? Can he protect me? This and many more should be observed.
A troublsome woman can send a husband to jail and can caused a man to be enemies to neighbours. Women must also learn to be obedient at home,winning arguments doesn’t make you wise. Some women can so nag nag and nag. A man in my office doesn’t close from work at 5 o’clock we closed. He will wait till almost 8pm before going home,until I aasked him one day his reasons,before he told me of his nagging wife. Why should a man be afraid of coming home because of a wife one marry? She has turn the house to a battlefield,if that man is overcome by temptation,he will get another woman and the problems compounded simpLy because a nagging wife push him.
Patience is the key,simpLe “sorry,please,its ok can settle all disputes,but we found them had to say them.
If you have fear of God,you won’t insult your husband and you won’t beat your wife.
May our homes be an example of others to emulate

FRIENDS:

1. Don’t call them FRIENDS because you shared a secret with them. They become true FRIENDS when they keep the secrets you shared.

2. A man who has too many FRIENDS may just be feeding his enemies with his personal information. Make your inner circle few.

3. Acquaintances love to see you strong all the time but Great FRIENDS connect with you even in your vulnerable and weak moments.

4. They call themselves FRIENDS but your Success unsettles them; they are simply terrorists in bishop’s regalia.

5. When your FRIENDS go through challenging times, don’t wait to see how others will respond before you decide to stand with them. Be Loyal!

6. Best FRIENDS aren’t chosen. They emerge during the worst seasons of life. They run in when others are running out.

7. Get rid of FRIENDS who make you feel unnecessary.

8. You don’t have to impress real FRIENDS. The impression has already been made, that’s why you’re friends.

9. Don’t take your True FRIENDS for granted. Don’t make an enemy out of a genuine FRIEND because of your carelessness and thoughtlessness. Don’t trash the treasure God has given you. You will REGRET it later.

10. FRIENDS give value all the time. They are sacrificial and not transactional. They seek to give and not just to receive.

SUBMIT ION

How many of us MRS find it hard to Submit to our Husbands Authority? If he says No, then wahala dey. If it’s not done our way, then there’s going to be a huge problem in the home. It’s either our way or the high way!

Some of us, his Opinion don’t even count, others he knows already and won’t even speak at all. MRS, how can God place us in place of Authority if we can’t submit to our own Husbands? We can spend hours complaining/bad-mouthing him to others but won’t pray for him?

How many have good Husbands and don’t even recognize it. His humility is nothing to you. His softness is effeminacy to you. Him Serving you is not appreciated or Validated

How many of us find it hard/ Uncomfortable when our Husbands direct us to do something? Oh! I have been there. I won’t say it out but in my heart I’ll be like “Why cant you do it yourself?!” Mostly I’ll do what I am directed to, because I want to be a good Wife, and I just couldn’t tell my Husband to.

Outright Rebelliousness or one hidden in our heart is not Gods will. God taught me a lot of lessons from my BAD behavior, and is changing me everyday. No one forced us to get Married, we did have a choice to be Single and we chose Marriage, and you won’t Submit to your Hubby’s Leadership? We think we are strong Women when you can stand him, make your Opinions even when it hurts your Man. Speak words that destroy instead of build him?No that’s not Strength, you are trapped by some Emotions. By your needs to control everything, to be at the top of everything, controlled by the world around you, to have your ways, to lead, to compare your self to him, by FEAR.

True Freedom is when you know you do not have to fight for your self. When you know how to use your voice, when we are not controlled by emotions. When You can let God deal with every Issues before you. You can go to God and lay every Issues and Learn what needs to be learned, change what needs to be changed. Free from fear of loosing.
Be Free MRS!

*PRAYER: Father I leave all my need to control everything in your Hand, I choose to let you lead me. I leave my expectations in your hand for you alone are more than enough for me, change all that needs Change in me. Cause my Husband to be truly after you, to truly love me like I should. Continue to make me a Wife her husband is truly happy to come home to, cause my Marriage to be truly Happy, and we would’nt have to feign it. Lord bless my home and marriage in Jesus mighty Name. AMEN!
By Mrs Ijeoma Popoola.

RESPONSIBILITY

My wife took a trip out of port harcourt for a few days and I was left with the children to take care of.

MY RESPONSIBILITIES
Wake up by 5am, prepare them for school, prepare breakfast and lunch packs, then drop them off on or before 7am. Come back home tidy the house and prepare myself for the day’s hustling. Pick them back from school by 4pm, arrange lunch/ dinner, help out with their home works and assignments, then prepared them for bed.
I have only done these chores for 2days and I look like yesterday. The truth is that I have forgotten to eat foods. I basically ate once since Tuesday.
For the children, day one, they couldn’t eat their lunch at school because the food got bad before lunch. Lucky them, they had snacks. Day two, they came back with their foods half eaten- too much stew.
I think being a man is at times easier. Just imagine that a good wife/mother does this from the first day of marriage or delivery of a baby (ies) to the end of her time. Even when her children are old, she comes for baby sitting (Omugor). They also accommodate us the husband day and night. Of course you know husbands have their own pattern of wahala. Where is my food, why this, why that. My wife is this, my wife is that.

MY POINT
My wife, My mother, you women are too much. I only got a tip of the iceberg and I really do not want any more. I am ok with my role as a man and husband.

To the wives and mothers out there, thank you for your role in the house. I couldn’t have done any better. Perhaps, I do understand better. You are more than a SUPER WOMAN. I Appreciate you all

Written by Adishome Patrick

PARENTAL BLESSING

Who so curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness and his inheritance may be gotten hastily at the beginning, but the end thereof shall not be blessed. It may look like it is working for you now, but the end thereof shall not be blessed. But an upright man’s end shall be peace. You are living a lavish life but your parents are sleeping on mats, struggling for what to eat. That it is not well with some people in life is not because the devil is especially interested in them, but it is because of how they are treating their parent and parent In-law. Parents carry blessings which is called “parental blessings”. This blessing cannot be gotten from anywhere except from your parents.

Wife! Do not forget that without your In-law, your husband would not be married to you now, and do not forget that you are also going to give birth to a son and that these things are going to be reciprocated. You may be young today, but you will be old tomorrow. The same way you are talking about that old woman, that is the same way these children will be saying ‘this old woman. The best way to enjoy your in-laws is to show them love, befriend them, and do them good. But if the moment you stepped into that man’s life and he becomes a different person, his family doesn’t know him again, and he doesn’t remember them again. The family will blame you because it was at the point of your arrival that everything changed. Show yourself friendly to your in-laws so that when you need them, they will be there for you. ‘Somebody may say that his/her father is already dead so that is not his /her business. That’s a lie. Look for the oldest person and make him your father. Take care of him/her as you would your father/mother., because there is a blessing these people are carrying for you, and it is called ‘parental blessing’. You need it.

When Esau lost it, Esau wept bitterly. Because he knew that his life was finished without that parental blessing. He said ‘oh my father do you have only one blessing? Please bless me also. Bless me for I do not want to be a frustrated man.’ If that blessing was not important, then Esau wouldn’t have cried so much. So many people do not care about their parents. The parents undergo hardship and just say: ‘oh Lord, judge between me and my son.’ That is enough to end your destiny. This curse can be reversed on the prayer altar. Jacob was under a curse for 21 years. He was laboring under this curse for 21 years. But one night the bible says he was left alone. He engaged a prayer altar and his prayer was: ‘I won’t let you go unless you bless me.’ The opposite of curse is bless. God reversed Jacob’s curse and from that day, Jacob’s fold started multiplying. Jabez also. The curse his mother placed on him, Jabez reversed it on the prayer altar.

Take your time, pray unto God to help you avoid this curse and if you find yourself doing any of the things mentioned above, stop and pray to God to turn this curse round into a blessing. Amen.

Thanks to Ben Howard for this piece

Stop the fighting, stop the rage
It’s a brand new day so turn the page.
Disagree and speak your mind,
But don’t do harm or be unkind.

The world grows evil on its own
You can’t take back a stone that’s thrown
So plant a seed of love today
Show that there’s a better way

Seek through peace a common ground
In God the answers can be found
Let your light shine bright, make it glow
Let your cup be filled and overflow

Look to encourage, not intimidate
You can’t show love while spewing hate
Before you point out a speck in their eye
Be conscious in yours a tree you may find

Only look down to reach out your hand
To comfort the fallen, help them to stand
Give of yourself, don’t expect a return
Flames of compassion forever to burn

Be humble yet strong, soft but not weak
A mirror of Christ for others to see
Only one life are we given to live
Let’s let go of the hatred & learn to forgive

 

Think positive, Think productive.copied

If you think you’re beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you like to win but think you can’t,
It’s almost certain you won’t.

If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man
But soon or late the one who wins
Is the one WHO THINKS HE CAN!!!

 

COMMANDMENTS YOU SHOULD KEEP IF YOU WANT A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP

Every relationship has issues but the difference between happy relationships and the rest is the way these obstacles are handled.
Below are 8 commandments you should keep if you want a happy relationship
1. YOU SHALL NOT BOTTLE UP FEELINGS
Occasional arguments are part and parcel of every healthy relationship. Arguments in relationships are definitely okay but how you handle these arguments and repair communication says a lot about the health of your relationship. Couples in happy relationships do not bottle up feelings because they understand it can destroy a relationship.
2. YOU SHALL ACCEPT YOUR PARTNER’S QUIRKS AND DIFFERENCES
While tolerance in a relationship is an important ingredient, accepting your partner’s quirks and differences instead of tolerating them would help you build a happy relationship. To create a happy relationship that will last, you have to celebrate the similarities and differences you share with your partner.
3. YOU SHALL LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER
While it’s really important to talk about your wants and needs in a relationship, taking time to listen to your partner is also very important. The secret to building a happy relationship is listening to each other and trying to understand your partner’s wants and needs.
4. YOU SHALL BE HONEST AND TRUSTWORTHY
You can’t build a happy relationship if you can’t be trusted. Honesty and trust can make your relationship solid and stand the test of time. We all want a partner that we can trust.
5. YOU SHALL COMPROMISE
You can’t build a happy relationship that will last if you are not willing to succeed. The secrets of couples in happy relationships is their ability to change and accommodate their partner. Happy couples don’t try to prove their partner wrong; they instead try to find a middle ground both can coexist comfortably. The ability to adapt is needed if you want to build a happy relationship.
6. YOU SHALL BE CONSIDERATE AND SHOW GRATITUDE TO YOUR PARTNER
Happy couples are always considerate and show gratitude to their partner for the little things they do and for also being who they are. Not showing gratitude can build a disconnect between you and your partner.
7. YOU SHALL ALWAYS KEEP IN TOUCH
Happy couples value their time with their partner and try to create time for their partner. For a relationship to succeed, you and your partner need to put in work. You have to keep in touch with your partner regularly. Enjoy each others company when together by telling a joke, playfully teasing your partner or enjoying a ridiculous conversation.
8. YOU SHARE KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP PRIVATE AND AVOID OVER-SHARING
Social media is an important part of our lives today but if not used properly can destroy our relationship. To build a happy relationship, you need to stop making your relationship a subject for public debate. Learn to keep things between you and your partner. What happens in your relationship isn’t for public consumption and that public includes your family and friends.by Paul Godwin S.

Beautiful Poem..

THE WORLD IS MINE
(Author Unknown)

Today, upon a bus, I saw a very beautiful woman
and wished I were as beautiful.
When suddenly she rose to leave,
I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and used a crutch.
But as she passed, she passed a smile.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two legs; the world is mine.
I stopped to buy some candy.
The lad who sold it had such charm.
I talked with him, he seemed so glad.
If I were late, it’d do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me,
“I thank you, you’ve been so kind.
It’s nice to talk with folks like you.
You see,” he said, “I’m blind.”
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two eyes; the world is mine.
Later while walking down the street,
I saw a child I knew.
He stood and watched the others play,
but he did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment and then I said,
“Why don’t you join them dear?”
He looked ahead without a word.
I forgot, he couldn’t hear.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two ears; the world is mine.
With feet to take me where I’d go,
With eyes to see the sunset’s glow,
With ears to hear what I’d know,
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I’ve been blessed indeed, the world is mine.
If this poem makes you feel thankful, just share it to your friends. After all, it’s just a simple reminder that we have so much to be thankful for! Give the gift of love. It never comes back empty! copied

HAPPINESS

This story is about a beautiful, expensively dressed lady who complained to her psychiatrist that she felt that her whole life was empty, it had no meaning.

So, the lady went to visit a counselor to seek out happiness.

The counselor called over the old lady who cleaned the office floors.

The counselor then said to the rich lady “I’m going to ask Mary here to tell u how she found happiness. All I want u to do is listen to her.”

So the old lady put down her broom and sat on a chair and told her story:

“Well, my husband died of malaria and three months later my only son was killed by a car. I had nobody. I had nothing left. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I never smiled at anyone, I even thought of taking my own life. Then one evening a little kitten followed me home from work. Somehow I felt sorry for that kitten. It was cold outside, so I decided to let the kitten in. I got some milk, and the kitten licked the plate clean. Then it purred and rubbed against my leg and, for the first time in months, I smiled.

Then I stopped to think, if helping a little kitten could make me smile, may be doing something for people could make me happy.

So, the next day I baked some biscuits and took them to a neighbor who was sick in bed.

Every day I tried to do something nice for someone. It made me so happy to see them happy.

Today, I don’t know of anybody who sleeps and eats better than I do.
I’ve found happiness, by giving it to others.”

When she heard this, the rich lady cried. She had everything that money could buy, but she had lost the things which money cannot buy.

“The beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are; but on how happy others can be because of you…”

Happiness is not a destination, it’s a journey.

Happiness is not tomorrow, it is now.

Happiness is not dependency, it is a decision.
Happiness is what you are, not what you have..😊copied

from Ben Carson

A 6 yr old boy was in the market with his 4 yr old sister. Suddenly the boy found that his sister was lagging behind.

He stopped and looked back. His sister was standing in front of a toy shop and was watching something with great interest.

The boy went back to her and asked, “Do you want something?” The sister pointed at the doll. The boy held her hand and like a responsible elder brother, gave that doll to her. The sister was very very happy…

The shopkeeper was watching everything and getting amused to see the matured behavior of the boy…

Now the boy came to the counter and asked the shopkeeper, “What is the cost of this doll, Sir? !”

The shopkeeper was a cool man and had experienced the odds of life. So he asked the boy with a lot of love & affection, “Well, What can you pay?”

The boy took out all the shells that he had collected from sea shore, from his pocket and gave them to the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper took the shells and started counting as if he were counting the currency. Then he looked at the boy. The boy asked him worriedly, “Is it less?”

The shopkeeper said, “No, No… These are more than the cost. So I will return the remaining.” Saying so, he kept only 4 shells with him and returned the remaining.

The boy, very happily kept those shells back in his pocket and went away with his sister.

A servant in that shop got very surprised watching all these. He asked his master, “Sir ! You gave away such a costly doll just for 4 shells ???”

The shopkeeper said with a smile, “Well, for us these are mere shells.

But for that boy, these shells are very precious. And at this age he does not understand what money is, but when he will grow up, he definitely will. And when he would remember that he purchased a doll with the Shells instead of Money, he will remember me and think that world is full of Good people.

It will help him develop a positive attitude and he too in turn will feel motivated to be Good.”

Whatever emotion you infuse into the world, it will further spread. If you do good, goodness will spread. If you do bad, negativity will spread.

Realize you are a very powerful source of energy.

Your good or bad will come back to you magnified. Not in the ways you want it, and probably not in the ways you can understand it. But it will come back.

PARENTAL BLESSING

Who so curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness and his inheritance may be gotten hastily at the beginning, but the end thereof shall not be blessed. It may look like it is working for you now, but the end thereof shall not be blessed. But an upright man’s end shall be peace. You are living a lavish life but your parents are sleeping on mats, struggling for what to eat. That it is not well with some people in life is not because the devil is especially interested in them, but it is because of how they are treating their parent and parent In-law. Parents carry blessings which is called “parental blessings”. This blessing cannot be gotten from anywhere except from your parents.

Wife! Do not forget that without your In-law, your husband would not be married to you now, and do not forget that you are also going to give birth to a son and that these things are going to be reciprocated. You may be young today, but you will be old tomorrow. The same way you are talking about that old woman, that is the same way these children will be saying ‘this old woman. The best way to enjoy your in-laws is to show them love, befriend them, and do them good. But if the moment you stepped into that man’s life and he becomes a different person, his family doesn’t know him again, and he doesn’t remember them again. The family will blame you because it was at the point of your arrival that everything changed. Show yourself friendly to your in-laws so that when you need them, they will be there for you. ‘Somebody may say that his/her father is already dead so that is not his /her business. That’s a lie. Look for the oldest person and make him your father. Take care of him/her as you would your father/mother., because there is a blessing these people are carrying for you, and it is called ‘parental blessing’. You need it.

When Esau lost it, Esau wept bitterly. Because he knew that his life was finished without that parental blessing. He said ‘oh my father do you have only one blessing? Please bless me also. Bless me for I do not want to be a frustrated man.’ If that blessing was not important, then Esau wouldn’t have cried so much. So many people do not care about their parents. The parents undergo hardship and just say: ‘oh Lord, judge between me and my son.’ That is enough to end your destiny. This curse can be reversed on the prayer altar. Jacob was under a curse for 21 years. He was laboring under this curse for 21 years. But one night the bible says he was left alone. He engaged a prayer altar and his prayer was: ‘I won’t let you go unless you bless me.’ The opposite of curse is bless. God reversed Jacob’s curse and from that day, Jacob’s fold started multiplying. Jabez also. The curse his mother placed on him, Jabez reversed it on the prayer altar.

Take your time, pray unto God to help you avoid this curse and if you find yourself doing any of the things mentioned above, stop and pray to God to turn this curse round into a blessing. Amen

BITTERNESS: DESTINY SPOILER

When you work in bitterness against someone, it is not the person you are bitter against that suffers it, you are the one that suffers it. Bitterness defiles destiny, bitterness embitters destiny, it troubles your destiny. There are people that are bitter against their fellow man/woman, in-laws for no just cause, no reason, out of envy the person has not done them anything, they are just bitter ‘’why should it be that person? Why should this person be alive?’’ You bring yourself under a curse, even when they have done you something that is why the Bible says, when you start praying if anybody have offended you, forgive them otherwise the root of bitterness will spring up.

Bitterness makes you to fall short of the grace of God. He said: “looking diligently, lest anyone falls short of the grace of God”. Looking diligently, that means from time to time check yourself, is there anybody I am bitter against? Is there anybody that I am carrying bitterness in my heart for? He said do not allow it. Do not allow the root of bitterness to spring up. He said that if you do, it will cause defilement, it will trouble your destiny. When grace leaves, disgrace becomes inevitable.

Bitterness, just being bitter against people, talk bitter words about them, pray bitter prayer against them. Bitterness is costly, you cannot see far. You are a global citizen and not a local champion. He said that you are the light of the world, you are not the light of the judge, and you are the city set on the hill that cannot be hidden. You are the salt of the earth, no one lights a candle and puts it under. You are redeemed for global relevance. So you cannot be arguing with one tiny individual that said that your head was too big and your nose is flat. And then you spend all your time discussing: did you really say that or you were talking about another person and he replies “eh, I said it, what are you going to do to me?” and you get bitter.

He said little minds discuss people, they are so small that they cannot see, so they spend their precious time discussing people. But great minds discuss ideas. How to move forward, how to affect their generation, how to make impact. That is what great minds discuss. God bless us.

BEST WAYS TO APOLOGISE TO YOUR PARTNER

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is one easy way to save your relationship / marriage, but surprisingly many couples find this difficult to do.
Apologising to your partner when you have wronged them doesn’t show weakness but strength and it also proves that you value your relationship. Many relationships have died and faded away so easily just because one or both partners never apologised.
In some partners, it isn’t that they don’t want to apologise, but they don’t even know how to.
There are some effective ways you can apologise to your partner that would make them turn around quickly.
1. ADMIT YOU WERE WRONG
This is the first step to apology; there are no buts in apologies. Admit that you were wrong and take total responsibility for your actions. You make it easier for your partner to forgive you when you take responsibility.
2. A DEEP HUG
A deep hug in some situations can make your partner turn around quickly. It shows you are sorry and didn’t mean to hurt them and it also shows that you care about your partner and value the relationship a lot.
3. WRITE A LETTER
Sometimes, apologising face-to-face with your partner can be quite difficult, especially if they won’t listen to you. Writing a letter in this situation can set the path for reconciliation. Write a letter accepting responsibility and it should reveal how sorry you really are and that such a situation wouldn’t happen again. Written words can sometimes pass a message that spoken words wouldn’t pass.
4. SLIP A NOTE SOMEWHERE
Another way to apologise to your partner is by slipping an unexpected note somewhere they would easily find it. Slip a very short and simple note somewhere your partner would find them and your partner would easily forgive you thereafter. The note can bear “I’m sorry honey, you are the best”, or “I’m sorry love, it won’t happen again”. This kind of apology is short, precise and highly effective — and it would most likely leave a smile on your partner’s face.
5. IT SHOULD BE ALMOST IMMEDIATE
The apology should be almost immediate in the sense that you shouldn’t leave your partner for days and weeks or even months before apologising — this would create grudges, disharmony and leave bad seeds in the relationship. Don’t wait for too long before apologising.
6. MAKE A LIST OF WHY YOUR PARTNER IS IMPORTANT TO YOU
This is another highly effective way to apologise to your partner. Write your partner a note or send an email to them revealing the top five things that make your partner so special and why your partner is so important to you.
This type of apology would definitely leave your partner smiling.
7. SOCIAL MEDIA
Social media is also another effective way to apologise to your partner. Saying you’re sorry on a social media platform is more like a public apology; by this, your partner would know you are deeply sorry. Though, not everyone feels comfortable with a public apology.
8. GIVE YOUR PARTNER A GIFT AT WORK
Talk about being romantic, you can actually be romantic to your partner while asking for forgiveness. Send your partner a gift while they are at work with a simple note saying “I’m deeply sorry”. You would surely make your partner the envy of their colleagues at work that day. There is no better way to apologise than when you put a smile on your partner’s face.
Sometimes, it’s not even about apologising but how you apologise that really matters. Apology is an important part of a relationship; couples that apologize to each other have better relationships and that’s a fact. by Paul Sayefunmi Godwin

10 SIMPLE WAYS TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE STRONGER

1. When you wake up…no matter how short or long the marriage is, kiss her good morning DONT GREET HER!
2. When he comes home…DONT SIT DOWN, wake up and meet him at the door, a hug and/or kiss and ask how his day was….he spent most of it trying to make sure you guys have food in the house.
3. Before you sleep, PRAY TOGETHER AS A FAMILY, and in your prayers, always thank God for your spouse and for his/her love and dedication to the family.
4. Daily no matter how tired you are, spend a few minutes to discuss how the day was what challenges you both met and how you handled the situation.
5. Find a moment to encourage each other from scriptures. If you can get a devotional guide, let each person handle a day of the week including kids (if they can)
6. Just because you married her, life does not stop. At least once a month, take her out to dinner, spend the evening just the two of you outside the house eating and talking-just the same way you tried convincing her to marry you.
7. Be proud of your husband/wife.
Walk together holding hands, text during the day…your wife/husband should be your best friend, so those stuff you talk to your friends, include your spouse, ask silly questions like what are you having for lunch? What would you like for supper? Can i get you anything? Did you get to work? Oh i just called to say i miss you….Have you left work? etc…
8. People get scared to talk about this but sex does destroy marriages.
SATISFY your husband/wife sexually..it is a gift that can be perfectly enjoyed in holy matrimony…its not a sin when you are married. So stop feeling guilty and make sure your sex life is completely satisfied and enjoyed by the two of you. Do not give room for your spouse to be tempted sexually outside of marriage because in it you cannot give in.
9. Everyday never forget to say you love your husband/wife at least 5times.
Saying i love you, never gets boring, it never gets rhetorical it never hurts for someone to hear. “its a delicious meal, i love you” “wow, you came early….i love you swry” “will you please get some bread as you come? I love you” “good night my love” “wakey wakey swry time for breakfast love”
10. Never go to bed angry, solve those arguments with love. Fight all you can but at the end, remember to pray together, pray for your love and marriage and the goodnight has to have “i love you”. Always remember a family that prays together stays together..by Alexandra Aleiro

THE LAW OF MARITAL BALANCE.

Don’t live life without spice, it’s like taking bread without tea or water, sooner or later somebody will be choked.
‎Don’t be too spiritual and abscond from the physical, marriage is very physical yet spiritual.

There is a part of every woman that wants a phenomenal guy for a husband
There is a part of every guy that wants a “sexy” babe for a wife

To be spiritual and not romantic is to kill your marriage by yourself and then lie on the devil

He loves a prayerful woman but also needs a playful baby

Every woman wants a serious minded guy but they also want a guy who plays hard like a kid

They want a visionary man but don’t go to the extent that she has to pray that you lose your vision so that she can have you
I know you need to put food on the table and succeed as a man, but there is no point sacrificing your family for your job and not ‎have anyone to celebrate your success with you
Don’t wait until somebody shows your spouse a new lease of life. Don’t allow your spouse to be tempted.

Some experiences are better avoided than‎ amended
Even if you grew up in the Monastry, don’t confine yourself to being a missionary
Churches often cry in prayers for revival because their pastor is not charismatic
Ask successful pastors how they have succeeded pastoring for more than 20 years, it has taken a lot of dynamism

Crack jokes, go out, see movies, run around the house,‎ take a stroll together, play games. Keep on dating.
Somebody cannot be cooking for 20 years in a stretch and not get tired, do role reversal, spring pleasant surprises
Don’t be too serious, marriage does not make people happy, it’s people who make marriage sweet.
There is no love in marriage, love is in people. There is no romance in love, people infuse romance into their marriage
A couple must learn the art and science of giving, communicating, loving, serving, praising and keeping the box full.
If you demand for more than you put into the love tank, you will be disappointed..copied

NO MARRIAGE IS UNBREAKABLE. PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE!!!

To keep your marriage healthy, you will have to work on it. Some marriages break even when it seems they have passed the breaking point. Right now a divorce process is going on between one of my bosses and his wife.”

That is not special, I thought to myself. But then she detonated the bomb.

“My boss is 84 years old and the wife is 81.”
Whatever can make a couple who has been married for more than half a century drag themselves to court for divorce? I’m not here to give reasons today, but just to let us know that long duration does not necessarily cement a relationship. No marriage is UNBREAKABLE. A pastor can marry an angel sent from heaven, and a bishop can marry an arch-bishop, if they don’t make the unity of their marriage a worthwhile project, it will eventually collapse.
I do not need to list the high profile cases of renown pastors and celebrities, (these days the two words seem to have become synonyms), that break down despite all the knowledge of the word of God and all the money they have. We ordinary Christians wonder why. The truth is ALL MARRIAGES NEED THE SAME INGREDIENTS TO WORK. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, preacher or layman. My marriage will not work just because I am a pastor. In fact, being a pastor may kill my marriage if it is not handled correctly.

In 1995, I officiated in a wedding as an usher. That wedding was one of a kind. The bride’s daddy was a wealthy deacon and all parties involved were Christians. Two weeks later I was in my pastor’s house and the bride came crying, with a bandaged right hand and a swollen face. The groom had terminated the honeymoon in style: he beat the hell out of his new wife. That marriage never survived.

When a marriage fails, it is never God’s fault. When a man and a woman get married, the responsibility to make it work rests entirely on both of them. That responsibility will not reduce when they have been married for 10 years, or 50 years, or even 80 years. Your marriage may be old, but your responsibilities to it must always be kept fresh.

Let me re-phrase that: Your responsibilities to your marriage must be kept young no matter how old your marriage is.

May the Lord keep us strong. Copied Post

Are you kind to your partner?

To be kind means to be good or benevolent in nature or disposition, as a person.

Without kindness in your relationship, your marriage won’t last. Here are some ways to check up on yourself to see how long you are in your relationship.

1. You say “yes” a lot more than “no” when your spouse asks for a favoured for help
2. You are willing to share what you have because being kind is being generous
3. You listen with your heart
4. You don’t interupt your partner
5. You are polite and say “please” and “thank you” when speaking to your spouse
6. You show respect for your mate
7. You let your partner know how much he/she is appreciated
8. You don’t roll your eyes when your partner says something you disagree with or something you think is trivial or boring
9. You routinely look for good in your spouse
10. You are helpful
11. You don’t allow unkind comments to flow from your lips
12. You make sure that your teasing is fun and not hurtful

Is there any other way you will like your partner to show kindness to you? Kindly share……

WHEN TO BE SILENT . . . The Bible says

1. Be silent In the heat of
anger – (Prov 14:17)

2. Be silent When you don’t
have all the facts – (Prov
18:13)

3. Be silent When you
haven’t verified the story –
(Deut 17:6)

4. Be silent If your words
will offend a weaker
person – (1 Cor 8:11)

5. Be silent When it is time
to listen – (Prov 13:1)

6. Be silent When you are
tempted to make light of
holy things – (Eccl 5:2)

7. Be silent When you are
tempted to joke about
sin – (Prov 14:9)

8. Be silent If you would be
ashamed of your words
later – (Prov 8:8)

9. Be silent If your words
would convey the wrong
impression – (Prov 17:27)

10. Be silent If the issue is
none of your business –
(Prov 14:10)

11. Be silent When you are
tempted to tell an
outright lie – (Prov 4:24)

12. Be silent If your words
will damage someone
else’s reputation – (Pro
16:27)

13. Be silent If your words
will damage a friendship
– (Prov 16:28)

14. Be silent When you are
feeling critical – (James
3:9)

15. Be silent If you can’t say
it without screaming it –
(Prov 25:28)

16. Be silent If your words
will be a poor reflection
of the Lord or your
friends and family – (1 Pt
2:21-23)

17. Be silent If you may
have to eat your words
later – (Prov 18:21)

18. Be silent If you have
already said it more
than one time – (Prov
19:13)

19. Be silent When you are
tempted to flatter a
wicked person – (Prov
24:24)

20. Be silent When you are
supposed to be working
instead – (Prov 14:23)

“WHOEVER GUARDS HIS MOUTH AND TONGUE KEEPS HIS SOUL FROM TROUBLES” – (Prov 21:23).

“BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD” (Ps 46:10).

Copied

Your Child Is Not A Goat

This past weekend, I was given the opportunity to admonish parents, then teens. I found out that there is a communication divide between parents and their children.

Communication is different from talking. Communication has to do with passing a message and receiving a feedback, while talking is just passing information(it’s usually one sided).

During one of my coaching sessions with teens, I asked them if there are statements said to them that have influenced them negatively or positively. Some of the teens responded.

One of them said that her mum used to compare her behavior to that of an animal. She said, she won’t forget it.

I know some parents call their children all kinds of names such as, goat, idiot, stupid, nonentity, failure, vagabond, etc.

The reason for some parents is that they are trying to correct the child. Most parents even say these terrible words in anger.

I say to you, your child is not a goat. Stop calling your child evil names. You are proclaiming evil over the child.

The sad thing is that some parents will curse their children, then later on pray for them.

There are sometimes your child can get you angry up to a tipping point( I have been there with my teens). I get angry at the act, instead of calling the child terrible words, I say, you are acting silly.

Correct in love. Let the child know why you are disciplining him or her.

I encourage you to proclaim Blessing over your child. Call your child, Blessed, Great, The Advantage, etc.

With your words and actions, you can shape the future of your child.

Weekly, I inspire and coach teens to become responsible and excellent ambassadors of themselves and their families. I help parents understand and communicate effectively with their teens.copied

Oluwatosin Fatungase(Pharm)
Teen Behavioural Coach
@Oluwatosinfatun
Inspiring Greatness…

WHILE I WAS PONDERING ABOUT LIFE, I DISCOVERED THAT:

Sometimes, to succeed in life you need ENEMIES! Yes!

You need people who will mock you, so that you can run to God.

You need people who will try to intimidate you, so that you can be courageous.

You need people who will say “NO” so that you can learn how to be independent…I mean how to do it yourself.

You need people who will disappoint you so that you can put all your trust in God alone.

You need people who will work towards you loosing that job, so that you can start your own big business.

You need people who will sell your ‘Joseph’ so that ‘he’ can get to Egypt.

You need a cruel landlord, so that you won’t be too comfortable in someone else’s house, then you can build your own house on time.

But sometimes, when we are disappointed, we feel very bad and we tend to remain on that spot. Not knowing that the end-point of disappointment is the beginning of your accomplishments.

Understand this, “that every disappointment you once had came with a blessing!” However, it is not everyone that partakes in this blessing that I’m talking about.

You cannot see a new OPEN door while you are still putting all your attention, time and energy in trying to force the closed one to open.

And again I say, “No disappointment can ever come without an attached blessing!” So, when the disappointment comes, thank God for it and tell “HIM” to open your eyes to see the new blessing that HE has for you!

Disappointment is PHASE1… while accomplishment is PHASE2… I doubt if you can jump the protocol.

That is why it is called BREAK through. Something must BREAK so that you can go through! God bless. Copied

You can only give what you have

Back in the days when Germany was divided, a huge wall separated East and West Berlin. One day, some people in East Berlin took a truck load of garbage and dumped it on the West Berlin side. The people of West Berlin could have done the same thing, but they didn’t. Instead they took a truck load of canned goods, bread, milk and other provisions, and neatly stacked it on the East Berlin side….On top of this stack they placed the sign:

*“EACH GIVES WHAT HE HAS”*

How very true! You can only give what you have.

My dear friend, what do you have inside of you? Is it hate or love? Violence or peace? Death or life? What have you acquired over the years? Is it capacity to build or capacity to destroy? Is it ability to make money or steal money? is it ingenuity to develop good things that will benefit mankind or ability to bomb those good things that others have labored to build?

*”EACH GIVES WHAT HE HAS”*

Think about it… copied

Lion

You know what?*
*Something that might get you motivated has got me thinking for some time now*

*In the jungle which animal is the biggest …….I heard you say ,…….. elephant.*

*In the jungle which animal is the tallest…… I heard you say ……Giraffe.*

*In the jungle which animal is the wisest…….I heard you say………. Tortoise*

*In the jungle which animal is the fastest …….. I heard you say ……. Cheetahs.*

*Uhmm. Among all these wonderful qualities mentioned…… Where is the Lion in the picture.*

*Yet you say the Lion is the king of the jungle even without any of these qualities.*

*But I discovered something fascinating about the Lion.*

*_The Lion is Courageous_*

*_The Lion is very bold_*

*_The Lion is always ready to face any mountain, any challenges, any barrier that crosses his part, no matter how big they are._*

*_The Lion walks with confidence._*

*_The Lion dares anything and it’s never afraid_*

*_The Lion believes he is unstoppable._*

*_The Lion is a risk taker_*

*_The Lion believes any animal is food for him_*

*_The Lion believes any opportunity is worth giving a trial and never allows it slip from his hands._*

*_The Lion has charisma._*

*_What is it that I want you to learn from this piece ._*

_*• You don’t need to be the fastest._*
_*• You don’t need to be the wisest_*
_*• You don’t need to be the smartest_*
_*• You dont need to be the most brilliant._*
_*• You don’t need to be generally accepted to become your dreams and be great in life._*

*_• All you need is courage_*
_*• All you need is boldness_*
_*• All you need is the will to try_*
_*• All you need is the faith to believe it is possible. All you need is to believe in yourself that you can do it👍🏻 and you will find yourself doing it.

*Just do it*!

Copied

smile

Don’t you ever lose hope in this life, no matter the odds you’re up against, no matter whatever happens, it’s still your choice, your decision and your power, to hold on to your faith in God and in what is right and true. That’s the one thing that can never be taken away from you by any tribulation unless you allow it.

Because I know you believe in your heart, that with God all things are possible even the ones we see as being impossible. I also know that life can be so hard to us. It can beat us down, blue and black, it can spit in our face, it can do just about anything to us, and yet you can’t do a thing to prevent it.

But I can assure you that one day you will definitely smile again. You will wake up in the morning like you have woken up this day, and not have to fight the urge to cry anymore. Yes, it can take a while, days weeks, months, maybe even years. But you will surely get there, it is God’s promise that after you have suffered for a little while, that He will settle you.

However, don’t forget after all said and done including your achievements, if you don’t have God above all these things, you have gained nothing at all. copied

Fear of God

Whenever the devil blinds a man or woman’s vision, he makes him or her see nothing wrong with whatever he or she does. Do not mortgage your soul to the devil on account of anything, be it good job, beauty, wealth, power, fame, lust, position etc, they are all transitory and when they eventually vanish the way they came, you will be left with the consequences and most of all, the reality of eternity.

Live your life with the fear of God and respect for your fellow human beings. Nothing in this world lasts forever, therefore, if you must boast, it is better to boast only in the Lord who made heaven and earth. From James Obiora U.

Respect

If you want to be respected by people around you, make sure you’ve given them their own due respect in the first place. Respect is a give and take thing, the amount you give is exactly the amount you get in return. Wealth, fame and power does not make you a better person to be respected by all.

If you don’t examine your character from time to time, you may gradually drift towards being proud, overbearing and arrogant, or worst still, seeing other people who are not as privileged as you are, to be lesser human beings.

We must not allow the vain and passing things of this life in our possession to dictate for us the way to relate with others starting especially from those who are very close to us, for our charity must begin at our homes before going into the world. James O. U

SHE PUSHED ME AWAY, BUT LATER SAID ‘SORRY SIR:

I Went to an e-bank hall few months ago. As I was about entering the hall, a lady ran ahead of me and pushed me away, so she could quickly join the long queue before I will get to the queue. I did not say anything. She felt I will stay at her back, but I was actually not there to withdraw, I came to deposit.

So I walked to the deposit machine and I was the only one there. No single person on the queue. When I finished depositing. I was about leaving the hall, when the lady came from the queue and apologized to me for pushing me away the other time.

With sorry smile on her face; she said ‘I am sorry Sir for pushing you away, I thought you were coming to the queue’, I just smiled and told her not to bother, that’s is not a big deal..

But since then, the lesson in this story kept coming to my mind, and I felt I should share it for us all to learn from it.

Friends, who are you ‘pushing’ away and trying to out run in the race of destiny, relationship, business, ministry, career, etc? You are thinking you are going to the same ‘queue’ ( destination) unknowing to you that, though your path may look alike,but your destinations are different!.

How many people have had to say ‘sorry’ to those they pushed aside, pushed away, push down when they finally realized that that person was not actually going to the ‘withdrawal machine’ they were running to.

Are you reading this and you are pushing people away here and there by slandering them, hindering their progress, blocking their promotion, spoiling their good names through lies and rumour all in a bid to ‘get there’ before them.

I challenge you today, to take it easy. You might not be going to the same destination. It might surprise you later that, with all your pushing away you are doing, they may still leave you on the ‘queue’ of destiny later and they will be successful before you.

Finally, are you reading this and you can feel people in your office, ministry, business, club,community etc pushing you away so that they can get ahead of you?.

Don’t worry, God will use your case to prove to them that, ‘it is not of him to runs, but of the Lord that shows mercy…’ He will show you mercy and give you an overtaking speed and those who are pushing you here and there will later come and tell you they are sorry.

Please, don’t push anybody. You might meet on the same path, but you might not be going to the same ‘machine’ ( destination). Thanks for reading. You can share to warn someone and to encourage someone.

Do have a glorious week ahead.

Pls Read

A lovely little girl was holding two apples with both hands.

Her mum came in and softly asked her little daughter with a smile; my sweetie, could you give your mum one of your two apples?

The girl looked up at her mum for some seconds, then she suddenly took a quick bite on one apple, and then quickly on the other.

The mum felt the smile on her face freeze. She tried hard not to reveal her disappointment.

Then the little girl handed one of her bitten apples to her mum,and said: mummy, here you are. This is the sweeter one.

No matter who you are, how experienced you are, and how knowledgeable you think you are, always delay judgement.

Give others the privilege to explain themselves.

What you see may not be the reality. Never conclude for others.

Which is why we should never only focus on the surface and judge others without understanding them first.

Those who like to pay the bill, do so not because they are loaded but because they value friendship above money.

Those who take the initiative at work, do so not because they are stupid but because they understand the concept of responsibility.

Those who apologizes first after a fight, do so not because they are wrong but because they value the people around them.

Those who are willing to help you, do so not because they owe you any thing but because they see you as a true friend.

Those who often text you, do so not because they have nothing better to do but because you are in their heart.

Those who take out time to chat with you, does not mean they are jobless or less busy, but they know the importance of keeping in touch.

One day, all of us will get separated from each other; we will miss our conversations of everything & nothing; the dreams that we had.

Days will pass by, months, years, until this contact becomes rare… One day our children will see our pictures and ask ‘Who are these people?’ And we will smile with invisible tears because a heart is touched with a strong word and you will say: ‘IT WAS THEM THAT I HAD THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE WITH’.

Send this to all your friends that you will never forget.

Put this on the whatsapp of those who made you smile in any type of way.

It might surprise you but look at how many will be sent back.

Thank you for making me smile for sometime in my life.

By Rev. Peter Simon

THE MYSTERY OF TRUE LOVE

True love is hard to find. When you find one hold it, don’t let it go for you never know when you might find it again.

When you love, use your heart to keep it and nurture it.

Love is more than just emotions of the flesh.

It supersedes all odds of life.

Love is eternal and only those that internalize and passionately treasure it find the secret of Love.

Love never departs from the presence of those that respects it and values it.

Note, the value of Love is only reflected when shared unconditionally even when conditions and situations doesn’t permits.

Always learn to forgive and appreciate the presence of Love from even those that seems to be dejected by the philosophy of man’s understanding of the real standards of Life and Love.

Love opens up every grave that have burred your hopes, drive and visions.

It gives strength and passion to the abandoned and rejected people.

It awakes the sleeping giants in every destiny appointed person.

It’s the mystery of miracles that turns a nobody to a somebody.

It gives positivity to the condemned and freedom to the slaved.

It’s not a fault finding agent

Love gives salvation to the captive and forgiveness to the guilt.

Love is the unifying factor between God and man.

The bond between hearts of men and God’s Spirit.

In the presence of Love the dead finds life and failures finds solutions that leads to liberation.

Love is the power force behind every successful relationship and marriage.

Love always gives and never takes thus it supernaturally brightens the countenance of the condemned.

Love always gives birth to passion, enthusiasm, positivity, focus and wisdom to one who righteously and godly possesses it.

Nothing fails or fakes in the presence of true Love.

For God is Love and as His prototype we are made and created to Love in truth and in spirit.

Joy comes in the morning

Surprise!
It was a very sunny Saturday morning, and our wedding anniversary. I looked at my wife as she got ready to leave the house for work. She is a doctor and had been on call today. It seemed like yesterday she walked down the aisle to me. Wow! We are twenty-three years in marriage today. I smiled at her, she smiled back. We have this thing we do in our anniversary; its more like a friendly competition, we see who surprises whom with the best anniversary gift. She had won five years in a row; I was definitely going to win this year because my surprise for her would blow her head off.

“So what are you going to do this year” she asked me, coming out clean with the question because she had stealthily tried to find out what my plans were. “Watch and see” I told her. I asked her the same question; she just said “hmmm”. I’ve discovered when a woman says hmmm, she’s really got something hot cooking. She picked her bag, kissed my beardy cheek and left. We had plans for dinner by 6:00pm tonight. Then, I would unleash my ‘BIG’ surprise.

We have been married for twenty-two years and we have no children, or perhaps God had not given us any. Over time we had come to realize that sometimes God says yes, wait or no! And there is nothing we could do to change that fact. He is GOD. Therefore, I had vowed to love Patience with the whole of my being. I had promised to always make her laugh and though we both sunk into lugubrious moods, we would trust and keep hope alive. I would be her husband and her son; and she my wife and daughter. We had just ourselves.

Patience, my wife reads a lot of books and her favourite authors are Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and Karen Kingsbury and I bet she could kill to meet them in person. Last year I contacted Chimamanda and started making preparations to surprise my wife this year. After much process, I got her to have dinner with us tonight. It wasn’t easy at all. My wife was going to faint! The idea that I had won this years’ anniversary surprise made me all jumpy and giddy. I was going to prepare her best meal, ‘Efo riro, bush meat and poundy’.
I had known what my wife had planned for me. We live in Accra and I had always wanted to visit Nigeria, to Jos. I had told her so many stuff about this place I had grown up in, and especially about the mouthwatering ‘Gwete’. I had tried to prepare gwete for her and on so many occasions failed. In fact the last time I tried it looks like ‘Acha pudding’ with cabbage and biscuit bone. LOL. Anyways, I heard her making plans for us to travel to Jos. I smiled.

Its 5:00pm, I had finished the cooking and all, set the table, lit the scented candles and did all the romantic ‘orishirishi’ we see in movies. The door opens.

“Awww!” She squeals. I hug her and after small talk she saunters off, mounting the staircase to get ready for dinner. I had showered, shaved and dressed in a crisp white shirt, jeans and sneakers. We are one of those couples that still try to look young even in our aging years. Forty-five minutes later, she comes down in a black dress with silver studs in her ears; she looked breathtaking. Although I could still see the grey that stuck in her hair. As we sat, the doorbell rang. I smiled, my surprise had arrived.

“Baby, get the door please” I said and ran off to get my camera. As she opens the door, she sees Chimamanda and her assistant standing at the door. She screamed! And hugged the smiling guest. We all sat to eat. I watched them both smiling from ear to ear as they discussed so many things especially about her books and all. Its 7:30pm and I can’t wait for Chimamanda to leave so I could clinch onto my victory.
Finally, she left. We were clearing the table when I saw the brown envelope stickingvout from my wife’s purse. I knew it! It was our plane tickets to Jos. Smiling victoriously I picked it up and opened it. I was right, tickets to Jos and also…

I collapsed on the sofa, and I couldn’t quench the river of tears that had started to flow on my well shaven face. I was sobbing hard. That after twenty- three years (today) of marriage, God had decided to make me a daddy! My wife joined me on the sofa, we were crying for joy together because after so many years of God telling us to wait, He finally said yes.

My head was on my wife’s laps. I could perceive her cologne better. Interrupting our tearful silence she asks me. “So honey, who surprised who, who won this year?” With a mischeviois grin, I looked up to her not wanting to carry last this year and said ” Na Godwin”. We both laughed looking ahead. We were going to be parents! God had surprised us both. Although, my wife keeps saying she won.

Inspiration: ‘Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.’